First Dating Rule: Don’t Take Rejection Personally

Don't Take Rejection PersonallyRejection is something we would all like to avoid.  Unfortunately, when it comes to dating, we are all likely to be rejected at one time or another.  It can be especially painful because it feels so personal.

When you are turned down for a job that you applied for, it’s easy to chalk it up to not being the right fit for the job or not having the proper experience or skills. 

Maybe your personality clashed with the prospective employer or the chemistry between you and the interviewer was off.

Now consider how you tend to apply this kind of thinking to dating online.  You have exchanged emails and perhaps even gone on a date with someone.  The person tells you they are not interested in dating you.

This type of scenario is more likely to elicit a more personal emotional response than getting turned down for a job. 

Even if you weren’t that interested in the person and could tell the chemistry between the two of you was off, it is still hard to experience this form of rejection because it feels so personal.

Dating makes us emotionally vulnerable because it is so personal.  You really have to be open to all kinds of possibilities and really put yourself in vulnerable positions to make the dating process work.

However, what you need to realize is that not everyone is a good match for you and that you will most likely experience your fair share of disappointment.

Here are some tips to help you stay upbeat and manage your disappointments during the dating process:

Be Realistic

If you get only a few responses after sending out 30 kisses, it might feel like a lot of rejection.  However, don’t forget that you are putting out a lot more first moves online (sending Kisses) than you ever would normally do out in the real world.  So put things into perspective and try to take a realistic approach. 

Not everyone will respond to you or like you.  The same thing is true for those who approach you first.  You are not going to like everyone.  Just think if you were to ask ten people you met on the street for a date.  Would they all tell you yes?  Of course not.  Just remain realistic and patient.

Change Your Way Of Thinking

When someone doesn’t respond or lets you know they aren’t interested, think of this as eliminating potential dating partners that are not a good match instead of thinking of this as rejection.  If someone makes the decision that the two of you are not well suited for each other, this is probably for the best. 

It most likely means they were not the right person for you either.  Consider this as an opportunity to leave the door wide open for the right person to walk through.  You don’t want to wast your valuable time on someone who isn’t the best fit for you when the ideal person could be out there ready to walk through that open door.  Keep yourself available for the best possible match.

Don’t Take Things So Personally

This is not so easy to do, however it is the best thing you can do for yourself.  Don’t make assumptions about being too boring, too old, not attractive enough, etc.  These things might not be true at all.  It could be situational instead of personal.  The person you are interested could be busy with life or already talking with someone else.  Or there could be a specific deal-breaker such as not dating smokers or not liking dogs.

You never know what reasons a person might have for thinking you are not a good fit for them.  You may look too much like an ex.  Who knows.  Stop trying to second guess things and don’t blame yourself.  Many times their reasons for thinking you aren’t right for them have very little to do, if anything, with you.  Keep you head held high and say “next!”

Put Yourself Out There

If you want to date, you will have to be willing to take chances.  If you don’t send out any Kisses, it could take you a long time to find your perfect princess or prince.  All avoiding rejection does is limit your possibilities.  If you happen to receive a negative kiss back, wish the person the best, smile and move on.

The worst thing you can do is dwell on your rejections.  Potential love interests can sense baggage or negativity during their interactions with you.  If you focus on your rejections, it could turn even more potential dating prospects off and turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.  People that are positive and happy attract those same types of people.

Be Courteous

Finally, if someone lets you know they aren’t interested in pursuing anything with you, be courteous and politely thank them for their honesty and respect.  After all, the person did take the time to be honest with you instead of leaving you hanging.

When it comes to dating, you need to keep things in perspective.  There are going to be plenty of ups and downs. The most important thing is to stay positive.

Don’t place a lot of pressure on yourself, but do make an effort to putting yourself out there and being open to possibilities.


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